The Family Proclamation and the Family Tree

Last month they re-sustained me as Bishop during Ward Conference. This is the talk I gave During Ward Conference.

I wrote two talks, looks like I am still with you all, so I will give the first talk I wrote "The Family Proclamation and the Family Tree."

A couple of months before I was called as Bishop I remember Bishop F----- lead a 5th Sunday discussion about the Family Proclamation. There were some important things that were brought up about how the Family proclamation might apply to our lives, who it addresses, and what one can learn from it. It got me thinking.

First I would like to explore what family is. And then look at the Family Proclamation and see how it fits into the Gospel and the Promise of eternal families.

Today families come in many shapes and sizes. Many people today decide to stay single. Some families have single parents, Some kids move from one home to another. For some it is hard to define who their family is. But family is more than just father and mother, brother and sister. Sometimes the people we feel the closest to might not even be biological family. People might also get adopted into a family that is not their biological family. My wife for instance, her sister R---- was adopted into their family after she was already an adult. So How does the family proclamation fit into the lives of today’s families? Who does it address? And how does it all fit into the Plan of Salvation?

The Family Proclamation to the World was published in 1995. Interestingly enough, that is about the time my twin brother and I started coming back to church. It is also about the time my twin brother came out to the immediate family and told us he is gay, but that is beside the point. Or maybe it isn’t.

It starts off by saying:

“We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

It goes on to say “The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

This section I hold close to my heart. It is what I find most important about the Restored Gospel; the promise of a forever family.

I’ve always loved my family, I loved my family growing up and I love the family I have started with my wife, but I know family relationships can be hard sometimes. Sometimes we might wish we were part of another family. Maybe a family with lots of money, or cooler parents. I know I probably embarrass my kids, but oh well, they’re stuck with me.

When the Family Proclamation states that family is central to the Creator’s plan, is it just talking about a husband and wife and their children or does it encompass a wider meaning of family?

I still consider My brothers and sister as part of my family. Our sister K--- was like a second mother. But by the time M--- and I were four years old our older siblings were out of the house, and we were uncles by the time we were 2 ½. So we were almost closer to our nephews and nieces than to our older brothers. I still consider my nephews and nieces as part of my family.

When you look at the Eternal family from a wider perspective it gives the Family Proclamation new meaning. Yes the Proclamation's primary focus is on the divine responsibility of a husband and wife in raising children. But for many who read it as immediate family might feel discouraged because their family might not look like that. Maybe you don’t want to start a family of your own. That is OK. You are still part of an eternal family. You still receive all the blessings of the Tree of Life.

To me the Family Proclamation is a guide to help avoid heart ache, to help build family relations and to raise children in a loving home. It is meant to show the importance of the Family. The whole Eternal family even though for the most part, It’s picture of family seems to focus on the immediate, rather than the broader scope of family.

It says “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

It goes on to say...

“In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.” End quote.

Marriage and the raising of children is a sacred and Awesome responsibility. Marriage is not just about love. That is what the world has forgotten. It is sad when you see or hear about children without a family. Every child deserves a loving family, whatever that family looks like.

Every person needs someone who understands their struggles. Someone they can turn to. Someone who is there through it all. Everyone needs those who they can trust, those that will not judge them as the world (or other church members) judges them. Because we all stumble. We all are judged harshly by others at some point in our lives. We all need family we can turn to. That is what Family Is.

Every family is unique and as you extend those branches of your eternal family tree you can find just how unique it can be. As we extend our family tree we can find meaningful connections.

That is one reason we do genealogy, to extend our family tree, to build those eternal relationships with family, and it is not just with past generations. Through Family Search and IA technology, Genealogy can show how you are connected to people all around you. I have found out through the FamilySearch app that my wife and I are 9th cousins on my Father’s side and her Mother’s side. We also took a DNA test and found that we have a few strands of matching DNA on my father’s side and her mother’s side, so the DNA matches the Genealogical records. I am also related to many people in this ward. This is the broader perspective of Family. The family tree is the Tree of Life. This is the Promise of Eternal Life made possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Through Temple ordinances we are sealed indirectly to 3rd and 4th and 5th cousins and so on. So you may already be connected to your best friend.

but there are things we need to do, on our end, and it may not be what you might first think of. The Family Proclamation doesn’t quite grasp it. Yes, there are the ordinances Baptism, and the Temple endowment and sealings. The saving ordinances will be done, but there are some things that can only be done in this lifetime.

Building Relationships, We need to build those bridges, break down those walls, Learn acceptance, and understanding, Learn who your family is. What is it that divides families? Is it an unwillingness to forgive? Is it money? Is it different political viewpoints, or religious viewpoints?

Consider family members who may not be members of the Church. How do they feel about your membership in the church? Does the Church divide your family? Most of my family are not members of the Church, or are not active, other than my brother J--- and his family and my niece M---.

As I said before, The ordinances will be done, but the relationships we build or don’t build can only be done or undone during our lifetime. It is much harder to mend those relationships in the afterlife. There are many things that divide families. Don’t let church, or a misinterpretation of meaning of scripture be one of them. If they have a problem with the church, try and understand where they are coming from. It doesn’t mean you have to give up your standards. Sometimes all you need to do is just listen. It’s not about converting. It’s about being there for them.

We should also reach out to those family members who may live on their own, or are trying to raise children on their own. Help them feel part of your family.

We especially need to be there for those who may feel ostracized by other family members or facets of society. Put our differences aside and show love and compassion.

Sometimes people need space from family. But time with family is important.

Remember those church commercials about family? Isn’t it about time? Those were great commercials. The Gospel is meant to bring families together, and it does, but sometimes our understanding gets in the way. We are blessed to have the restored Gospel. Because of Joseph Smith, we know that family is forever. Family is more than just Mother, Child, Brother, Sister. We are all part of the eternal family tree, the tree of life, and the seed of Abraham.